KALE!!!

Kale told me he loved me.

You have no idea how happy it made me.

Then he asked me if I'd lose my virginity to him. I told him the truth, which is yes.

Then we talked about sex, different things about it. Not raunchy, you gross people. Just things about it.

But yeah. I'm happy, don't bring me down.

Going out to eat

I like going out to eat.

It may seem weird but I watch people, all the time. People don't notice it but I do. Like today I was at Coyote Canyon with my dad and my little brother. I watched people. I notice some things.....

Fat people eat faster and mix everything together on their plates,
Skinny people eat slower and keep all their food not touching,
Old men always get something stuck in their beards,
Old woman always have some type of soup down the front of their shirts,
Black people go straight to the chicken,
While white people go straight to the hamburger or pizza, I'm NOT racist!!!
Little kids ALWAYS want two or three deserts.... and their parents usually let them...

I made other observations but I can't remember most.... I like watching people, I'm weird I know....

My thoughts through the day

I wrote this yesterday so yeah...

I'm sitting in my geometry class writing the original copy of this which will be typed up for millions to see, viewed by my ADORING fans.

I'm sitting here thinking about what I said about Kale this morning when I should be solving proofs. Ha! I got one right! Kale is afraid I'm trying to steal his bestfriend, um she's cool and all but I wouldn't do that. I know all the shit that is going on in his life and he needs a best friend.

120+2x+4=180?
Does that even sound numeric? I'm in Formal Geometry BTW, means it's harder.

I'm taking drastic measures now to lose weight... eating less! It really depressed me last night at meeting when we were asked to describe our ideal boyfriend, he said athletic, I'm not athletic... He told me he thinks I'm cute though..

Nosey girl next to me...

I've only known Kale exactly 6 weeks today adn we've been in five fights... I'm still looking forward to next meeting!

So I've finished geometry and gone through lunch. I'm in study hall. I hate my study hall teacher. We can't talk or nothing. I sit by Kale in lunch, with some other friends. I don't think I've said how much I LOVE his eyes. When he looks at me with them, like OMG, I think I'm going to faint.

Kale thinks I'm shy. At the last meeting last night he said he wants a boyfriend that's shy and we were all smiling but when he said that he looked at me... why? I mean he told me he watned to dtae me but that was before a lot of shit went on. I still want to date im obviously.

I wonder, in my days writing this, will anyone read it? When I die, this blog will be here, on the internet, forever. For people 50 years from now to read, like my grandchildren. I wonder, when I die will I be wearing cleean underwear? Will I be alone? Will I have children... grandchildren? Will it hurt?

The Meeting

So I have to get this thought out before I go to school.

I went to the group with Kale yesterday and I met his friend, who is a girl, and we had a lot of fun. I still really like Kale but a lot of shit happened. Fights and blah blah blah. I still want to date him but I don't know if he wants to date me.

Then a thought crossed my mind. What if Kale only started this to find potential boyfriends. It only crossed my mind when he told me he thought one of the guys in the group was cute. He wouldn't start this group just to meet potential boyfriends.... would he?

Starving Myself

I'm thinking of starving myself. I found out this whole time Kale has been looking for a boyfriend behind my back. I also found out my friend was like why not date me and he said No I wouldn't date him. What the FUCK ever... I'm pretty sure I'm asexual. Thanks Kale.

I'm lying to Kale and telling him I have a boyfriend to see how he reacts. And I'm going to lose weight and be all skinny and be like SORRY KALE I'M ASEXUAL!

Kale and the things he does to me...

It seems like all I talk about is Kale... I don't really... That's just what happens to be going on in my life right now.

So Kale found out I talked to that guy that he never wanted me to talk to again. He said he's never going to talk to me again and he'll never forgive me. Fuck him. I've been there for him through so much shit and he can't forgive me for talking to a guy. What an idiot. I was depressed. I made myself throw up and cut myself four times. Then I talked to two friends and one in particular helped me get happier. I went from depressed, to pissed off, to happy. Maybe I'm bipolar...

Seriously I was talking to the friend that makes me happier and she's best friends with Kale and she was like "THAT'S BULL SHIT!" so she is going to like cuse out Kale tomorrow... I'm glad... right now I'd fucking push him in front of a car and not care.

Kale and another guy....

So I found out today that Kale gave this guy a handjob...

Now I know he's done it before and it didn't bother me much but... he did it with a guy that he told me never to talk to or he'd slit his wrists... So whatever Kale's such a hypocrit and he's pissing me off SO badly.... ugh....